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Adopting Children with Developmental Disabilities
December 31, 1999
Developmental Disabilities and Adoption
The estimates of children who are awaiting adoption (legally free) indicate that anywhere between 30 - 50% have a developmental disability. However, these children are not a homogeneous group. Their physical, cognitive and social characteristics may differ considerably. Each child's diagnosis and/or classification are coupled with their individual uniqueness. Children with developmental disabilities, like all children, benefit from the love and stability that come from belonging to permanent families.
Families adopting children with developmental disabilities often have different motivations from those adopting healthy infants. Couples faced with infertility, who choose adoption as an option, are looking for a healthy baby and the opportunity to create their family. However, adoptive parents seeking children with disabilities have different goals and characteristics. These adoptive parents tend to already have large families with many biological children and/or other adopted or foster children. They see themselves as successful parents equipped with the special skills necessary to parent a "challenged" child. These adoptive families also tend to have had previous experience with health care professionals, school systems and administrators that helps them to navigate systems to advocate on behalf of their children. The parents know from their personal experience that every child is different and that all children have at least one difficulty - some are just more serious than others. The motivation shifts for these families from wanting to adopt infants to form a family to providing for the quality of life for additional family members.
Families who have adopted children with developmental disabilities talk about the "incredible joy" the children bring to them. They describe them as having enriched their families in ways they could never have imagined. Parents derive tremendous satisfaction from helping their child make developmental gains and each accomplishment is a cause for celebration. However, parents must also balance the fine line between following their protective instincts and helping their child achieve greater independence.
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